Earlier in the week, Jimmy Kimmel gave the German government an ultimatum: Return Justin Bieber's quarantined monkey, or German fascination David Hasselhoff would meet his maker.

But regardless of his (and Kid Rock's) threats to "off the Hoff," Kimmel still hadn't heard anything from Deutschland as the deadline approached.

Enter David Hasselhoff himself, tied up in a hotel room where he was being held "hoffstage" in exchange for the Bieb's monkey. Watch above for the 'Baywatch' star's ridiculous German accent, his weapon of choice (a hairdryer), and a brand new catchphrase: "Hoff you, Kimmel!"

Seems like Matt Damon isn't the only enemy 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' has made. We demand an evil team-up immediately. (With costumes, please.)