Ariana Grande Talks About Her ‘All-Consuming Grief’ Over Mac Miller’s Death
Ariana Grande opened up about her relationship with ex-boyfriend Mac Miller and how she coped with the "all-consuming" grief she felt after he died last year from an accidental overdose.
The pop star, who covers next month's issue of Vogue magazine, gave a candid new interview in which she called the rapper "the best person ever" and admitted she's still processing his death.
“It’s pretty all-consuming. By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f--k,” Grande reflected. “He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming... less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”
She went on to say that no one knew what went on between her and Miller behind closed doors, which is why many reacted when she called their relationship "toxic" after they broke up.
“People don’t see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened," Grande explained. "They didn’t see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion.
"That tweet came from a place of complete defeat, and you have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship. You have no idea so you’re not allowed to pull that card because you don’t f---ing know. That’s where that came from," she continued.
She also admitted she was "so sad and so drunk" in the months that followed Miller's death, adding that recording music for her Thank U, Next album helped her cope with everything she had been through.
"I don’t remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad," she said. "I don’t really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board."
"I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me," she continued. "I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of ‘Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this s--t.’”
For more on Ariana Grande's Vogue interview, visit their website here.