Santa Claus! The Jolly Old Elf! The Guy In The Red Suit Hanging From a Hook On The Ceiling! Wait, what? Sure there's plenty of delightfully fun figurines of Old Saint Nick, but there's a few far too disturbing and bizarre for any tree trimming party. Here's ten of the best…And by best, we mean pretty weird.
Time to trim the tree and HANG the ornaments
There's literally nothing that could make this image of a Chinese Santa toy hanging backwards from a hook on the ceiling more disturbing, unless it suddenly turned around and showed you its fangs.
Santa Goes To Jail
If we had one piece of advice to Santa after this unfortunate incident, it would be, “Don't drop the fruitcake in the shower.” If we had two, the second would be, “Why are you eating fruitcake in the shower?”
There's something just…off about this one, isn't there? It may be the giant beard that almost consumes his face, like some aged wolfman. Or the fact that he's standing in the snow, staring directly at you…no, it's the cape.
12 Days Of Fish-Mas
If you're good, Santa gets you a present. If you're bad, it's cool. If you're weird? He shows up in his famous gold hat with a fish as big as he is, of course. Merry Fish-mas, bro!
Santa Meets Death
…And then there was that time the giant, grim, visage of Death forced Santa to dig his own grave. You remember that warm Christmas tale, right kids?
What's he looking at over there? Is it the rest of his missing beard? What is it? What is he– Oh god, it's coming over here, isn't it! No! NOOOOOOO!!!
For those who like their Santa Claus with a head so freakishly large he'd fall over if he so much as tried to stand up and hand you a present, your Christmas prayers are answered.
Santa Goes Wolverine
The guy who made this clearly watched the 'X-Men' movies a few too many times while making a Santa Claus figure, and then said, “Eureka! Let's add a gas mask.” Anyway, we're not sleeping any more this year.
Old Saint Buck-Buck
Why would you train your dog to want to chew on something that looks like Santa? Why? Also? What? And How?
When Cthulu Met Santa
Finally, a plush toy that perfectly encapsulates the madness of the Holiday season.