As we all know, drinking makes you temporarily smarter and much more clever. When sauced up, one is typically prone to acts of prolific research, groundbreaking scientific innovations, and intense spiritual discovery. That's why this South Carolina man's very different reaction to intoxication has us completely stumped.

Just kidding, everyone wants to bone when they're hammered, this dude is just remarkably straightforward, and was thus arrested. More than likely, this is someone else's handiwork, seeing as how we know first-hand how hard it is to write backwards in a mirror while sober, let alone with a 12-pack of Twisted Tea in the evening's rearview mirror. Just kidding, we don't drink Twisted Tea (yes we do).

Regardless, our twisted tyrant now awaits a court date for his 'Disorderly Conduct' arrest earlier this month. We'd love to get our hands on that tape. Also: Who says 'boink,' anymore?