December is here, winter is in the air, and holiday tunes ring through stores and on the airwaves. Many people are pretty traditional with their holiday music selections - Bing Crosby, Perry Como, and Nat King Cole stand as favorites for many. Even contemporary renditions like those from Mariah Carey and Michael Buble land in this category, depending on who you talk to.
I like to think of myself as fairly open-minded when it comes to music in general, including holiday songs. There are just some that simply make you ask "WTF?" I decided to leave out classic bad songs like "Hippopotamus for Christmas" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and focus on more contemporary holiday misses. In no particular order, here is a list of some of the top offenders in that category of holiday tunes. Be sure to add yours in the comments below!
New Kids On The BlockFunky Funky Christmas
Arsenio, why would you unleash this on TV? New Kids On The Block do what any boy band does in this video - incorporate mediocre lyrics with flashy dance moves to provide pretty much exactly what you'd expect from a boy band singing an original holiday song.
Justin Bieber Featuring Busta RhymesDrummer Boy
Justin Bieber and Ludacris proved hugely successful in "Baby" so why not throw another rapper in the mix to make for a holiday hit? In theory it works, but who would think Busta Rhymes and Christmas music go together?
The only group a song like this would appeal to would be people who REALLY enjoyed "Barbie Girl" or maybe even were guilty of buying any of the Aqua albums (yes, albums - there are a total of three).
Twisted SisterO Come, All Ye Faithful
Everyone is familiar with "We're Not Gonna Take It" from 80's hair band Twisted Sister. It was a big hit when it came out, and it has been used countless times in TV, movies, and other places in pop culture. Dee Snyder and the boys decided to "capitalize" on the success of the song and put the lyrics of "O Come All Ye Faithful" to the tune. The finishing touch is the music video that even follows the same storyline from the original "We're Not Gonna Take It" video.
Snoop DoggSanta Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto
There's an old saying in the hip hop scene: "It must be a single with Nate Dogg singing on it". Generally it's true. Mix some Snoop Dogg with Nate Dogg and a couple other West Coasters, and you definitely have my attention. This song isn't really bad, it is just not lyrically "holiday" by any means - which is why it makes the list. Snoop DOES sport a black Santa suit and beard though. Speaking of lyrics, this one is a little salty in the lyrics department - so I wouldn't play this one for the kids while you're decorating the tree.
The first time I heard this song, I had to ask the person next to me "This isn't the Smashing Pumpkins, is it?" I guess despite all their rage, even they couldn't avoid doing a Christmas song.
Suggestive lyrics meet holiday terminology: what else would you expect from a Lady Gaga holiday tune? All there really is to say is, "Yes, this really exists." It came out as a single in 2008, and was featured on "Now That's What I Call Christmas! 4"
Appearing on the "Fred Claus" movie soundtrack, Ludacris sampled "Here Comes Santa Claus" to bring us a Christmas song like none other. Although he might have lost a little street cred for this one, I will hand it to Luda for lyrical creativity.
Destiny's Child8 Days of Christmas
What did Beyonce and the girls get for Christmas? Bling, a nice dinner, quality time with their men, and a Mercedes. That was of course before the economy collapsed.