Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
You know what they say -- when in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in Hong Kong, get called "Vagina" at a Starbucks.* That must be how that saying goes, because that's exactly what happened to a woman named Virginia who was visiting Hong Kong recently, and she wasn't too happy about it.
You might have thought everybody was so sick of 'Gangnam Style' that they never wanted to see or hear Psy again. It seems that is not the case. 'Gentleman,' Psy's first release since 'Gangnam Style' took over the world last summer, immediately smashed a record held by Justin Bieber for most video views within 24 hours of its debut. Like, he seriously crushed that record.
It turns out when you swap the faces of Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift, you wind up with a pretty cute lesbian couple. Thanks for the heads up, Reddit.
Here's a helpful video, if you were wondering how many carrots you could eat without going over 2,000 calories. If that sounds like something you definitely do not need to know, 2,000 calories is also quantified in Big Macs, pizza, Chipotle burritos and delicious, delicious avocados
Listen. We know this might make you confused. But we're pretty sure you need to see it. If for no other reason than to help us decide if it's NSFW or not.
On the one hand, there's twerking involved, which is usually totally NSFW. On the other ha
Last week we reported that a horrible mom was letting the internet vote to decide the name of her child for a measly $5,000. We can now thankfully say that the whole thing was a big, stinking hoax, perpetrated by none other than the company holding the contest.
This man asked his wife to slap him awake every day for 15 days. (We don't know why.) She filmed it every day. This sounds like it could get old. It doesn't get old. It gets amazing. Just watch.
Suddenly we feel very lucky to have been born in the '80s. Back then, our biggest naming danger was being called Brandi or Lacey. One mom-to-be is letting the internet name her child, so who knows what it will be called.
Now that we think of it, why wouldn't you add footage of screaming goats to as many songs as you possibly could? Needless to say, this new internet trend makes much more sense to us than Harlem Shake videos or teenage
Why sort through hundreds and hundreds of Oscars tweets, when we will do that for you? We've picked out our favorites and are compiling them here so you don't have to read Pantene commercials or people just saying "OSCARS! OSCARS!! OSCARS!!!" From comments on the opening monologue, to everybody freaking out over the 'Jaws' theme playing people off stage, to ties and glorious man-hair, we've got it all
We've got some guesses as to what's going to happen at the Oscars this Sunday. Nick Nolte's already told us about his pet crow, so we're guessing it's just going to be women wearing insanely expensive, unnecessarily frilly, sparkly dresses giving canned answers and men in tuxedos posing for cameras.
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?