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Metallica’s Manager Wants to Spank Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber
Jim Dyson, Getty Images

Though it’s unclear why a metal and rock manager cares so deeply about Justin Bieber, Peter Mensch, the handler for acts like Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, wants to spank him.

Is that how he keeps his own bands in line? Because we can’t really see Anthony Kiedis going for that.

Mensch, like many, is pretty peeved at Bieber’s recent string of both bad behavior and bad luck, which ranges from spitting on a neighbor and lunging at a paparazzo to having his pet monkey quarantined in Germany and lending his house and cars out to shady characters.

“His manager Scooter Braun is scared s—less,” Mensch said of the Canadian phenom. “I don’t know what Bieber’s problem is.”

In fairness to the pop prince, it could be argued that Bieber’s problem, in comparison with Mensch’s clients, is that he’s a paparazzi target who peaked (or, arguably, is currently peaking) in the age of TMZ and a 24-hour news cycle — something Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, through luck and timing, were able to avoid.

In any case, Mensch does, however, have an idea for a solution.

“I’d take Bieber to the woodshed and spank him.”

While we’re not going to go into the multitude of perverse puns we could have just made, Mensch appears to realize that corporal punishment not only isn’t the answer, but may be a waste of time regardless of effectiveness.

As Mensch happily chirped, “His career is over in three years anyway.”

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