The following post contains SPOILERS for Avengers: Infinity War. C’mon, guys. Obviously it does. It’s about who dies in the movie. Do we really need to keep up this charade? It’s demeaning to both of us.

Okay we were expecting a couple deaths in Infinity War. Like, Loki? Yeah, he had it coming. Captain America? We could see it; Chris Evans has made it pretty clear he’s basically done with Marvel. But then Cap survived and almost everyone else bit the bucket what the hell is even going on?!?

If you’re freaking out about the end of Avengers, you are not alone. The good news is, the next movie will probably reverse most, if not all, of these deaths. The bad news is Avengers 4 doesn’t come out until May and we have to live with this brutality until then.

As a way to help kill the time (no pun intended), we decided to remember and honor the MCU’s fallen heroes by ranking all of their deaths in Infinity War according to the degree to which they crushed our souls. Starting with the ones that hurt the least, we’ll count up to the hero death that had us sobbing in our popcorn. You better fix this Marvel! History has its eyes on you.

17. Half the Known Universe

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Thanos literally kills half of all life in the universe. One out of every man, woman, child, and sentient space tree, hasta la pasta. If you’re reading this you have no better than a 50/50 shot to be alive if you were a resident of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the movie doesn’t really show us any of that, apart from a couple of shots in the post-credits scene. Maybe that’s something that will be dealt with Avengers 4 or even in Ant-Man and the Wasp.


16. Groot

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Eh, he already died once. He’ll be fine, up and grooting again before you know it.


15. Maria Hill

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Maria Hill is a terrific character in the Marvel Comics where she’s been a director of SHIELD and done all kinds of interesting things. The MCU version has never really gotten a chance to exploit any of her potential, and mostly has just existed as Nick Fury’s sidekick. That’s the role she’s given in Infinity War’s post-credits scene too, where her death is immediately upstaged by Nick Fury’s. Maria Hill, you deserved better.


14. Nick Fury

Marvel

Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Infinity War gets pretty grim by the end. (Sample of my notes from the press screening: “This is pretty f—ing dark.”) One of the few moments of humor comes when Samuel L. Jackson gets to go full Sam Jackson in his death as Nick Fury. Thanos’ Infinity Stoning him out of existence comes mid “Muthaf—a!” which is actually really funny. So, as these things go, not super depressing.


13. Heimdall

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Killed By: Thanos, who murders him, just after he sends Hulk back to Earth via the Bifrost.

Look, we’ll miss Idris Elba’s Heimdall. He was a cool dude. He had a badass giant sword. He got a fabulous makeover in Thor: Ragnarok. But at least he died exactly how an Asgardian would want to die: Making a great, heroic sacrifice. There is some small comfort in that.


12. Mantis

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

We barely got to know Mantis before she died, so this one doesn’t have quite the same oomph as her fellow Guardians.


11. Falcon

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

We love Falcon — he’s one of our very favorite MCU characters — but he got almost nothing to do in Avengers: Infinity War. He’s mostly limited to a couple of action scenes and one funny line about the fugitive Avengers’ hotel accommodations in their years on the run from the law. Even his death in the jungles of Wakanda is underplayed. We’re crossing our fingers for Sam to get his due in Avengers 4, coming back to life and then becoming the new Captain America down the line.


10. Loki

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Killed By: Thanos, who chokes him to death after he tries to stab him.

On the one hand, it’s sad to see Loki go. He was a great antagonist for Thor and the Avengers, and he just seemed to turn over a new leaf in Thor: Ragnarok. On the other hand, did he really try to kill Thanos by stabbing him with a little knife? The dude already slaughtered the entire Asgardian race and he has an Infinity Stone? Your plan was ... run up and stab him? Uh, yeah, that’s not going to work chum.


9. Vision

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Killed By: Scarlet Witch destroying the Mind Stone, then by Thanos reversing time and yanking it out of his forehead.

Vision holds the distinction of being the only Infinity War character to die twice; first as an act of selfless sacrifice when he finally convinces Scarlet Witch to destroy the Mind Stone, and then when Thanos uses the Time Stone rewind time far enough to intervene and grab that damn Mind Stone for himself. Vision and Wanda have some touching scenes together, but he’s also pretty much begging the Avengers to kill him the whole film. They refuse because they want to save him and ... that plan wildly backfires? So this is very sad, but also maybe Vision was right all along?


8. Scarlet Witch

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Wanda’s death right after her beloved Vision is very sad, but we honestly were more upset about the death of her fake Sokovian accent. (#RIP)


7. Dr. Strange

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Hot take: Benedict Cumberbatch is better in Infinity War than he was in Doctor Strange; he just seems more comfortable in Dr. Strange’s skin, and he gets a lot of cool moments using his magical powers. That said, if he didn’t want to die, he probably shouldn’t have given the Time Stone to Thanos? We’re going to say that was maybe not the best short-term decision.


6. Star-Lord

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Okay, now we’re starting to get into the really affecting deaths. Infinity War doesn’t have a lot of time for things like subplots or dialogue that doesn’t involve the words “stones” or “Thanos.” Really the only affecting relationship in the film is between Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord and Zoe Saldana’s Gamora. They’ve teased it through two Guardians of the Galaxys and here they grow even closer. He seems genuinely wrecked by her death (more on that to come) and so his demise later, after having failed to avenge her death, feels even sadder.


5. Drax

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Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

For my money, Drax has the funniest moment in the entire film, when he turns “invisible” to spy on Star-Lord and Gamora. He also has one of the saddest moments when he slowly turns to dust before our eyes. It’s all about the look on Dave Bautista’s anguished face. It’s devastating.


4. Black Panther

Marvel

Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

How do you kill the biggest new movie star in the world? We assume this will all get reversed in the next movie. Still: Okoye watching her king (and the chances of seeing Black Panther 2) vanish into thin air was completely heart-wrenching.


3. Winter Soldier

Marvel

Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

After all those movies trying to help his buddy Bucky, Captain America finally gets him to Wakanda, and their advanced technology is able to break his Hydra programming. And then Thanos shows up and kills the world. When Steve Rogers watches his friend evaporate like a sandcastle caught in a stiff wind, that kind of broke us a little.


2. Gamora

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Killed By: Thanos, who tosses her off a cliff as a sacrifice needed to acquire the Soul Stone.

Stealth MVP of Infinity War might be Zoe Saldana’s Gamora. You knew she’d have a key role in the film because Thanos is her adopted father. But she has more screentime than all of the Avengers with the possible exception of Iron Man, and her comple web of emotions about Thanos fuels much of the film’s long second act. Her final scene with her Bad Dad before he sacrifices her to get the Soul Stone broke our hearts.


1. Spider-Man

Marvel

Killed By: Thanos wiping out half the universe with the Infinity Stones.

Look, we all know Spider-Man is not really dead. He’s already got a sequel in the works! And even if they canceled it, they’ll just make another Spider-Man movie in five years starring Jacob Tremblay or something. Still, watching Tom Holland cry and plead with Tony for his life? Saying he didn’t want to go and then crumbling to ash in Robert Downey Jr.’s hands? We will never forgive you for making us watch that Marvel. Never.

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